


Returned Dreams

by DiavenraNesus



Series: Tumblr Purge 2018 (Fuckmotheringfandomsagain) [10]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Description of First Time Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, I was thirsty for requests, Probably ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 03:34:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17072726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiavenraNesus/pseuds/DiavenraNesus
Summary: You and Kanda had been together longer than any of you could count, so much that Allen had even questioned your sanity upon being told this information. Regardless of his or anyone else’s disapproval, you stayed together. No matter what. So this development of your relationship was only natural and yet, it left you utterly speechless.





	Returned Dreams

When he proposed the idea, you’ve had a few choice words for him. If being with Yuu for so long had proven one thing to you, it was that you should be prepared for the most unimaginable things, always. In fact, it had again made you regret that the English language didn’t feature a direct translation for what you thinking of his words, because, let’s be honest here, ‘crazy idea’ was just not cutting it.

What he proposed was just that; a proposal.

It had happened on a mission the two of you and Lenalee and Lavi were sent off; retrieval of an Innocence, the usual. And as per usual, it hadn’t taken long for Akuma to make your job a lot more complicated, resulting in the four of you splitting up since each of you was more useful in broad fields with your weapons and the narrow halls of the ruins you were in didn’t do you any favors, even less when there was four of you.

An explosion had sent you flying, catapulting you through the ceiling and making you land in a much bigger room, Yuu suffering the same fate due to the close proximity to you. Next came a fight like many before it, the two of you slipping into familiar moves, knowing always where the other was and landing hits that looked more like a well-practiced dance.

There was no way to tell how much time had passed but when you finally had destroyed all of your opponents, because of course whenever you had killed one, there were already two more in its place, and looked down the hole the explosion had thrown you through, fully expecting to see Lavi and Lenalee still standing there but only seeing empty space. Leading you to your current dilemma. 

After informing your partner of the situation, you had attempted to contact them over your respective Golems but the two flying devices only buzzed incoherently before his tumbled down to the ground.

“Well, that’s not good,” you said, cradling yours in your hands and trying to check for any signs what was wrong with it. Neither of you had ever bothered to ask the Science division how to repair them so your chances of finding something and being able to fix it, were very slim but he still watched.

It had been months since he had gotten back and joined the Order again and from the day you had met again, you had barely spent time apart and yet he continued to re-discover you.

In the corner of your lips, you had a new scar, faint and it was only due to him having the honor of being so close to your face that he had found it. There was a bruise blooming under your eye from when you hadn’t been able to block an attack but it was barely noticeable under the blood over it, running down from your temple.

You were a mess, smelling of sweat and the adrenaline of a fight. If you were anyone else, he would only distance himself from you and not bother to acknowledge you further but you were you and at this moment, he thought you were beautiful. In your mess, which was ultimately your portrayal of strength, he thought that there was nothing more beautiful.

The surprise blinking Kanda did go over your head, too focused on figuring out the Golem, and his thoughts came to a halt.

_Huh._

“Let’s see if I can get a better signal outside,” you remarked, turning to him and expecting a retort, a scoff, something that wasn’t the curt nod he gave, leaving you confused.

Turned out, being outside did absolutely nothing for the Golem. Previously, it had attempted to fly; building up a connection but now it didn’t even do that. The same couldn’t be said of your mood.

Truly, Yuu Kanda was a silent man but he had a way of expressing himself without having to use words. He carried himself with such strength that it was beautiful and left you at awe but this right now was neither of these things. This silence wasn’t enthralling, it wasn’t comfortable; it was the opposite, and made you anxious.

You attempted once more to get to the core of the Golems, knowing full well that if you did, it would only leave you baffled, unsure of what to do next at the technology inside of it, but you tried anyway. Your hands were shaking, your nail trying to unscrew the device, only to slip away for the tenth time, further frustrating you.

You wanted to throw it against the next wall but having knowing full well that wouldn’t change anything, you turned to the other reason for your frustration, which you could change: him.

“Will you please say something?”

Your voice was harsher than intended, but upon hearing what he’d say next, you quickly wanted to sound even meaner.

Yuu was staring off into the distance, focusing on the church not too far away and weirdly enough still intact, listening to the chime of the bells. It proclaimed the full hour but with his current mindset he could imagine how it would sound under different circumstances.

“Marry me”

Your brain came to a halt, almost comically so. Your focus narrowing down on those two little words that held so much meaning and you found yourself wanting to punch him, slap him, hit him; something to bring him to his senses because he couldn’t be serious.

“Are you fucking with me?” Your tone was low, gravely dangerous, warning him to quickly take it back but all you got was a raised eyebrow in return. For your crude language or voice, you didn’t know because before he could say anything at all, you were speaking up a storm.

“Have you hit your head too hard or something? We’re Exorcists, we’re fighters; people like us don’t get married!”

“We’re also not supposed to fall in love,” he said, drawling out as if to say _yet here we are_.

You looked into his eyes and what you saw was scaring you. Whatever you had been expecting, maybe a sparkle that would tell you he was pulling a cruel prank on you, wasn’t there, only sincerity. As if his opponent had told him he wouldn’t survive but he had the knowledge that he very well would. It was the kind of sincerity that didn’t leave room for anything else but fulfilling itself.

“Yuu, love, where is this coming from?”

He turned away from you, looking at the church again and in the howls of the wind, you almost didn’t catch his answer.

“It’s always been there.”

A sound came from your mouth, something between a sob and a laughter as you closed the distance between you, wrapping your arm around his back and leaning against his shoulder.

“How do you wanna do it?”

“As soon as possible.”

Just like any other girl, you had wondered what it would be like to be married, hoping that your family would allow you to have a husband you liked, if not even loved, but when you became an Accommodator at a young age, all of these hopes and dreams were forgotten, exchanged with the knowledge on how to survive against Akuma.

To have all of these things rushing back to you, was an experience but even if it left you with a strange sensation, you had no doubt that you wanted this as much as Kanda seemed to. You two loved each other in a silent but all-consuming way, despite the struggles and dangers of an Exorcist, it had survived all this time.

After it was unraveled just what the Order had done to him and Alma, you were sure you would never see him and you were content with it. Sure, you would have much preferred to keep him with you, continue to love him but that was the funny thing about loving someone. You become loyal to them, get selfless and would do anything to make sure they were happy.

Seeing him go through the portal Allen created didn’t equal losing him. It equaled him finally being able to rest. Even if he was dead, it at least meant the Order couldn’t hurt him anymore. Never would he have to wake up from a nightmare and you would never have to pretend to not be awake, going against your wishes to help him because you knew, it would be a huge blow to his pride; the only thing he had left.

But when he came back, without Alma and wanting to join again, subject himself to pain again, you had been confused but mostly angry. It felt like he was throwing his life away and you screamed at him, yelling how idiotic he was but he simply took you in his arms, letting you punch his chest as you cried.

You knew that simply because he was back didn’t mean he was yours again. You knew that but you fell into wonderful old habits before you had a chance to clarify what you were to each other.

Despite everything, despite how frustrating it could be with him, there was nothing easier than loving him.

Becoming an Exorcist had killed any dreams you’ve had for yourself.

Falling in love with Kanda had revived so many but you knew that ultimately your fate would come in between you. One of you would die and leave the other behind. Your relationship would only ever be a short taste of peace.

Just that it wasn’t. It wasn’t short-lived, it withstood all of it and despite being shocked at his proposal, there was something else echoing within you: certainty. This wouldn’t fail and suddenly, you were looking forward to being wed to him.

It had taken a couple of weeks for everything to be ready but the day had finally come. There weren’t many people there, only those that really mattered; the friends that had helped you come to this day.

Lenalee was standing in front of you, making sure that everything was in place and then took a step back, taking in your whole picture before nodding, pleased with it.

“Ready?”

There was a brief pause before you answered. “As I’ll ever be.”

She opened the door of the room where you had been allowed to get ready. It hadn’t taken you long since your dress was simple, with barely any accessory. In a different color, it could’ve passed as a normal dress but this, just like everything was just a means to an end. You would’ve been okay with the two of you just coming back from the mission, donning each a ring on your hands and claiming that you were married now. But this was one of the few moments, you would be able to share with normal people.

Due to the circumstances, Lavi both worked as Kanda’s best man and as the one that would walk you to the altar. He was leaning against the wall next to the entrance and when you got closer, his eyes settled on you, a broad smile taking over his features.

“Well, look at you: the beautiful bride. Can’t wait to see Yuu’s look when he sees you.”

You chuckled, “Easy there. I’m still not convinced he won’t kick you out.”

Lenalee excused herself and got in as you and Lavi linked arms. A moment later you heard the music set in, giving you the sign to walk in.

“He can’t kick me out. I’m his best man!”

Truth be told, Kanda come very close to do this very thing several times.

He had lost control of his stern expression for a small moment but it was long enough for Lavi to see it and latch upon it, storing it in his memory with the clear intention of teasing him. It wasn’t exactly awe that had been on his face, more like surprise. His expression had softened and his mouth had slightly been open as if he had wanted to say something but nothing had come out.

It wasn’t the first time you had seen it when he was sure of his reaction and then was surprised by just how much he was feeling, but it never failed to make you warm inside. You barely could contain your smile when you placed a hand on his cheek.

The stern look was back and to someone it might seem like he was here against his will but as always, you only had to see his eyes to know what it was that was truly going through his head; the same thing that let him hold onto your hand throughout the whole ceremony, only letting go when you sealed the first kiss as husband and wife.

The gathering afterward had been as you predicted: loud. More than once did you have to stop your now husband from unsheathing Mugen and beheading Lavi, the latter not missing one opportunity to tease him.

The group of people around was still small, with most people away on missions or simply preferring to get a handle on the heavy workload, but you knew Kanda’s signs and he was reaching his limit.

You took a hold of his hand, excusing yourself from the group of friend you both had been talking to and quickly led him to somewhere more private. In retrospect, it probably would’ve been better to go straight to your room but the library was so much closer and sounded much more appealing.

You poked your head in, checking that no one was in there since that would beat the whole purpose. After being sure that you were alone, you finally lead him and closed the door behind the two of you.

It only took the sound of the lock falling back into place before he had his arms around you, pressing you against the door and putting his forehead on your back.

“I hate them,” he spoke, making you smile.

You placed your hands over his, both sets resting on your stomach. “And yet you came back.”

“But not because I missed that asshole.”

“Then why did you?”

The air grew tense and you bit on your lip, cursing yourself for not keeping your mouth closed. You had always said that you didn’t care what his reason was as long as you were happy with the result. But now you had opened a box, you weren’t sure you wanted to know the content of.

Kanda turned you around, fixing you with a look that had long lost its effect on you.

“I need to repay Allen,” he said and your eyes widened; this must’ve been the first time he used his actual name. “And I needed to see you again.”

“Even though I’m not her?”

“You never were.”

You turned your eyes away. You had a feeling his words held no ill intention but it still stung.

“And you never had to,” he said, pushing your chin up with his hand and forcing you to look at him. “Alma even told me to find you.”

Confusion settled onto your face and it took a moment until you had found your voice again. “Wha- Why? Why would he do that?”

A sound escaped his mouth, half scoff, half laugh as something akin to nostalgia appeared in his eyes. “Because we both knew it. I just never told you.”

You opened your mouth again, wanting to get to the bottom of it. You had opened Pandora’s Box, might as well find out what the evil was, no matter the damage but Kanda bent his head and chose this moment to lay his lips on yours.

You already felt the familiar rush of his kiss when your brain brought you up to speed, having noticed something, a whisper of a breath before he had done so.

“ _I love you._ ”

That was the thing with him. His actions spoke louder than his words, so you had never heard him say those words. You had assumed he loved you since he wasn’t the type to spend time with people he didn’t care for unless absolutely necessary and you had been sure that you didn’t need him to ever say them to you, telling yourself that you were glad to just have him around you.

All of that was true but it paled in what these three little words made you feel. A powerful feeling erupted from your stomach, making you feel too much at once and so you wrapped your arms around his neck, reciprocating with more vigor than ever before.

He groaned in surprise and pulled you closer by the hip then pushed you against the door. You felt something hard pressing against your midsection, making your mind fuzzy with what would most definitely be coming next.

“Are you sure,” he asked, catching his breath but not moving away from you, his lips brushing against yours with every word. “We can wait until later. Do it properly.”

Instead of answering him directly, you took hold of his wrist, guiding his hand under your dress. His hand came into contact with your bare pussy and somewhere in his mind he wondered for how long you’ve been like that but all thought flew out when he put gentle pressure against the tip of his fingers, making him part your folds and he felt your arousal for the first time.

He groaned and in a flash of limbs, you found yourself laying on the floor, back hitting the ground and him on top of you. His eyes had darkened, staring down at you with an intensity that made wetness pool between your legs.

Quickly, you hiked the bottom of your dress up to your waist while he pulled the zipper down and freed his cock with a tug from his underwear. Kanda leaned over you, peppering your neck with kisses and lining himself with your entrance.

“I swear, I’ll do it right. I’ll make love to you like you deserve it but,” he choked on his words as your warmth engulfed and he bit into your neck to stifle the moan.

You reached up with your hands, combing through the loose strands of his hair and cupping his cheeks, pulling him to your face to kiss him again. You didn’t need to hear more of his explanation, if there was one thing that you could say with certainty is that he had never left you disappointed or unsatisfied. So what did it matter if this wasn’t the appropriate way to have sex with your wife for the first time; you needed him as much as he needed you now.

“It’s okay, just go ahead.”

There was a slight burn when he stretched you, your pussy trying to accommodate his size but it soon gave way to the strangely feeling of having him inside of you, of feeling all of his weight and how you seemed to want to keep him inside whenever he pulled his hips back before thrusting back inside you.

It was overwhelming. Emotions twirling inside of you as he coaxed one moan after the other out of you.

Sometime he had pulled your dress down, freeing your breasts and lavishing them with attention, biting into the soft flesh, pulling at your nipples with his teeth and sucking them into his mouth.

“Yuu… Yuu… Yuu,” you suddenly called out, your fingers clawing at his chest as he came up again, his eyes raking over your face and then he was smiling softly at you, one of his hands cupping your cheek.

There was something building inside of you; it scared and excited you equally. You didn’t know what would happen if you would continue chasing this feeling but you also didn’t want to stop.

You didn’t know why you were calling out for him, begging for something beyond your comprehension but apparently, he did know exactly. His thrusts got harder, hips snapping loudly against yours.

“I’m right behind you. Cum for me.”

It only took a few more thrusts before your body obeyed you, the knot inside of you exploding as your mouth opened in a silent cry. The world vanished; everything seemed timeless as you climbed the high. In a corner of your brain, you felt his hips stutter, giving a last powerful stroke before he collapsed on top of you.

Slowly coming back to your sense, you felt him pull himself out of you, a sound of protest leaving your mouth but he tucked himself away, nonetheless.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you replied, only now noticing how dry your mouth was. “Tell me we can do that.”

He grinned at you, a dark gleam in his eyes. “Oh, count on it. In fact, you wanna head back to the others?”

Something inside of you told you that you should at least thank everyone for the day instead of simply disappearing but you really didn’t want to.

“Not really. Why?”

He was getting up and with a few practiced moves, you made yourself as presentable as possible before following suit. Kanda reached out with his hand, aiding you in the task and pulling you closed once you were standing.

“I meant what I said. I wanna do you right so how about we go to our room and take our time this time.”

You but your lips coyly, nodding softly. “Can’t wait.”


End file.
